In Part 1, Red Kite took an in-depth look at Lesley Bello’s identity as a first-generation college student. We explored her undergraduate journey, the unique challenges she faced, and how her background as a Mexican-American shaped her educational experience.

Now, as a graduate student, we’re interviewing Lesley on insights into her personal background, her academic interests, and the cultural dynamics of her immigrant family.

This week, we asked her to think back on another critical aspect of her college experience: the process of applying for financial aid. She shares her experiences navigating the complexities of the FAFSA application, various obstacles she encountered, and the support systems that helped her along the way.

How did your family prepare you to go to college? Did they help you navigate the application/financial aid process?
They did not prepare me, nor did they help me at all. They had no way to guide me, so I had to figure it out on my own. And going to college was kind of just expected of me.

How has your experience been similar or different to other first-gen students?
Almost all of my friends or mutuals had to deal with imposter syndrome,* financial issues, identity crises, and/or the enmeshment of our families. The only difference I noticed was in the severity of them. Many people had someone to help them in their immediate family – I think I was the only one who didn’t, or was struggling a bit more with that. It just looks different for everyone.

As a first-gen student, were there special resources available to you?
Yes. Thankfully, our university had a free program called Summer Bridge. They hosted incoming first-generation college students for a week and did a play-by-play of what college would entail; socially, academically, and professionally.

They also offered an additional class called STEP (Students Together Empowering Peers) that was a continuation of that summer program. This entailed first-gen mentorships, resources, etc.

There was also a BLP (Book Lending Program) that helped us with getting textbooks for courses. However, not many people knew of any of these programs, and so many people fell through the cracks. They did not have the support they could have had.

Were there first-gen clubs, Mexican culture classes, etc available to you on campus?
Aside from STEP, there was a First-Gen Family Club, but I wasn’t involved in it, because it was just student-led and made. I know we did have events here and there for Hispanic/Latino Heritage Month and stuff like that – things that involved all cultures. But nothing to help guide us through the financial sphere specifically.

Our university had all of its first-generation students stand at graduation (I think it was something like 30% of our class). How did that make you feel? Were you proud, embarrassed, or a mix?
Honestly, at that point in my college journey, I was so over it, I didn’t care a lot. So I guess it was a mix. They profited off of us so much, and they just did that so the university looked good. But they didn’t do it because they cared for us – they did it for THEM. The school always states that they are a Hispanic-serving institution, but they didn’t financially help us or offer other financial support or resources.

Did you have a college counselor? How did that benefit you or frustrate you?
I had several different college counselors. It wasn’t until my senior year that I had a solid college counselor who helped me navigate the last year and now grad school. Before him, it was just frustrating because no one would be helpful at all and once again, I had to figure it out on my own.

What did you wish you had known before applying to college?

I wish I had known how to take care of my mental health. Resources for how to cope with the stress. So many expectations, so many goals, pressures from other people… that just drained me. That’s the one thing I wish I’d known before.

Now that you’re a grad student, are you living on-campus?
Yes, in graduate housing apartments.

Are you working?
Yes, 3 jobs.

How was applying to graduate school different than undergrad?
I was in a preliminary teaching credential and Master’s program before I went into the program that I am now in (Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling). The process was actually not that bad. Since it was the same school, I just had to change programs I was in. Definitely not as stressful as other programs, but this
was the only program I applied to, so it was a make-or-break thing.

How is your brother experiencing being first-gen?
My younger sibling is studying Computer Science. He is also a first-generation college student, but despite me going through the process first, he still has to deal with a lot of what I did as a first-generation student. The public school system is different than a private school, and the education/financial aid system is changing yearly.

Did you receive any scholarships or financial aid? If so, please tell me what that process was like, how much you received, etc.

The process of getting financial aid through the school was okay. My tuition was paid off completely – I just had to pay the difference, because it increased every year. I only attended this school because of that, especially because it is a private school.

Without the financial aid, I would not have been able to afford it. During high school and my undergrad years, I received scholarships that would then cover my tuition difference and make it more manageable. Receiving these helped so much. The only thing I had to pay for was my housing.

Red Kite helps connect students to scholarships so that they can avoid falling into educational debt. Do you have any debt?

No, I don’t have any debt. But I wish I had known about them before. It would’ve been so much easier.

What difficulties did you have with the FAFSA?
This process was so, so incredibly difficult. I almost didn’t receive any FAFSA, because I could not finish my application my first year. Because my parents did not have a social security number, I had to fill out the application differently, since they couldn’t sign it.

I had to print it out and MAIL it to them. I HAD TO DO THAT EVERY YEAR. But the first year I applied I did not know that. AND NO ONE KNEW WHAT TO DO. Not even my AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) teachers!

Thinking about it now, years later, I don’t know why they couldn’t help me. I don’t know how they never got a student with parents like mine. I remember that as a high school senior I would spend my days stressed out and worried about how I would pay for school. We couldn’t afford it. A family friend mentioned opening up a GoFundMe for me, but I was embarrassed and said no.

I was determined to figure it out, and eventually I did. But every year something was always wrong. I always had to speak to someone to help me with my application. Most people ask their parents or family members, but I couldn’t. I had to figure it out on my own. Even now as a grad student, I still struggle.

Lesley’s story exemplifies the resilience and determination that many first-gen students embody. Despite facing a multitude of challenges – from navigating the complex financial aid process without familial guidance, to dealing with the emotional toll of imposter syndrome – Lesley persevered and found the crucial support she needed.

Her experiences also sheds light on the systemic issues within higher education that can hinder the success of first-gen students. Insufficient institutional support is the biggest contributor to why some first-gen students fail to graduate college. Yet, some universities also highlight the power of community and the importance of resources specifically tailored for first-gen students.

As Lesley continues her academic journey in graduate school, resources like Red Kite are dedicated to minimizing the cost of college. But private institutions must do more than simply acknowledge the presence of first-gen students and capitalize off of that population for diversity purposes.

Colleges must actively provide comprehensive support to ensure first-gen success. As Lesley’s story shows, the triumphs of overcoming such obstacles are profound and deeply impactful.

Lesley is the most hard-working person I know, and I am honored to call her my closest friend. I only hope that this article series captured part of this first-gen powerhouse.

* ”Imposter syndrome” is defined as “the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own effort or skills.”

Kite Writer Jane Cooper interviews Lesley Ann Bello, a first-generation college student who balances working three jobs with attending graduate school. This is part one of two.

A Love Letter to Lesley Ann

There’s someone out in California who knows what I ate for breakfast this morning. She’s on her way to class in her heather-gray Nissan, blasting the new Zayn album at top volume.

As a grad student working three jobs, her schedule’s pretty packed, but she still manages to find time to drive 20 miles to visit her mom in Fontana. She also bakes – blondies and brownies are her specialty.

Lesley Ann Bello and I met in a Class of 2023 group chat that was created the summer before our freshman year. And when the COVID-19 pandemic hit when we were sophomores, our online friendship was solidified.

As seniors, we roomed together in the dorms – our University requires its undergraduates to live on-campus for all 4 years – and we often talk about that year as if we spent it abroad in Paris, instead of a 200-square-foot closet.

“If only we could go back,” I texted one day.

“Going to call the University and ask them to rent the dorm out to us for 10 years,” she responded.

I wanted to sit down and interview her about what it was like to be a first-generation student at our university. Neither of Lesley’s parents attended college, and coming from a Mexican immigrant family, she faced struggles and pressures unique only to first-gens.

In Part 2 of this article, we explore her experience applying to scholarships and financial aid, including FAFSA difficulty, her transition into graduate school, and the college application process that left her with little guidance.

For now, let’s get to know Lesley Ann Bello, the hardest worker I know.

“Ann is not my middle name,” she clarifies. “I have two first names and one last name. Lesley Ann… Bello.”

Introduction

Where are you from?
I’m from San Bernadino, California.

Where are your parents from?
My parents are from Veracruz, Mexico.

When did they move to the US?
In 1998, so about 26 years ago.

How many siblings did your parents have?
My mom had four siblings, and my dad had 7.

Did your parents attend college?
They did not attend college. My mom has a middle school education level, and my dad has a high school education level. However, in Mexico they have their version of a vocational/trade school, and my mom received an informational secretary education. My dad graduated high school on track to be an engineer.

How many siblings do you have? Are they in college?
I have a younger brother (19), who is studying Computer Science at a Californian university.

What degree(s) did you graduate with?
I graduated with a BA in Psychology and a minor in Studio Art.

The First-Generation Experience

What does it mean to you to be a first-generation college student? How has that affected your time in college?
I realized early on that I had to stand up for myself, because no one else would; especially in the education system that sets POC (people of color) up to fail. Being first-gen means being an advocate for both myself and those coming after me. I want to set an example that we are not just a statistic – we can do this, and we will be something in life.

First-gens are not just numbers or faces on a brochure. We have something to give to this world. It means we need to work harder than others, because we don’t have things handed to us. During college, this made me question if I could really do it. But I knew my family was relying on me to set the example for my younger brother and our family friends.

How closely is your culture tied to your identity?
This is something that I have been thinking about a lot more as an adult. It has taken me a long time to be comfortable with who I am and where I come from. Growing up, I would say my culture was not tied to my identity. If anything, I tried to stay away from my culture. I didn’t really want to be associated with that. I hated my brown, tan skin.

I didn’t want to engage/participate in Mexican related activities. Like being in Folklorico dance classes, or wearing Mexican-related attire. I don’t know where that came from, because I grew up in a primarily Hispanic-dominant town. I didn’t have many white friends or relationships. But being Mexican-American was all I knew.

Now, as an adult, I try really hard to incorporate it into my life and my identity. I take pride in my culture. Not many people can say that their Mexican parents made a life of their own here, all by themselves. So this is a mixed-feelings response.

What struggles did you have because you’re a first-gen college student?
I had no support system that could help or guide me when navigating college, both as an undergraduate and now as a grad student. I relied heavily on the support system I created on campus. Without that, I would have probably dropped out.

I would not be who I am today without my mentors, who helped me tremendously – and still do. They assisted me with so much – doing professional interviews, helping me with applications, etc. I didn’t know how to do any of that. I didn’t even know what to expect, and they prepared me for that. None of my family or family friends have attended college, so I was/am on my own for the majority of this journey.

Privilege was something I did not have to witness until I attended college and was exposed to different things. As the oldest in a Mexican household, I did everything on my own. I had to become independent very early on. But to see other students with so much privilege was astonishing.

I had to remind people so often that things were different for me; that I couldn’t do everything they did. I didn’t have the financial stability many had. Having to explain that was so difficult and repetitive. It was annoying. It made me frustrated with who I was, and why this had to be my life. I wanted what other people had, and it was a feeling that stuck with me for so long.

I also still had the responsibility of my family, even if I was living on campus. I was still tied to my parents. Most of the time, I had to be the parent. Not everyone understood that. Eventually I realized this was called imposter syndrome, which is something common among many first-gen students.

family, and work?
Yes. I started off with one job during college, but then ended up with 2 jobs during my junior year all the way until I graduated. I definitely struggled more than I would like to say with balancing work, school, and family. No one taught me how to have a balance, so it was unhealthy.

I still am learning how to have a healthy balance. I had a lot of sleepless nights, because I didn’t prioritize and I procrastinated a lot. I definitely used work as an excuse as to why I would fall behind, when all I needed was better organizational and scheduling skills.

What does your family think about you going to college? How do they support you or
make things more difficult?
Oof. I think my mom is proud – she doesn’t really say that, so I will speak for her. However, she is supportive in her own ways. It has taken me a while to realize that. My brother is in school, so he knows that education is important. I hope this makes him go to graduate school as well. However, they sometimes do make this journey difficult.

Boundaries is something they struggle with, so it makes it hard to concentrate on school when I also need to be present with family. My dad views this as just me going to school so I can receive a bigger check when I start my career. He doesn’t realize that I am in this to help other people and to assist those who need it. That’s the major difference in the support I get from my parents. My mom understands the importance of what I want to do, but my dad doesn’t.

Do you feel that some universities capitalize off of their first-generation students for marketing/diversity purposes?
It is so frustrating. Like, yes, it’s great that we get exposure, but also… not. Half the time, it isn’t even that diverse – it’s just a lie. The funny part is that when the photographers are around, they go looking for the POC first-gen kids. It’s like they can smell you. We would always stay away from them.

What elements of your culture did you bring to school?
My mom’s cooking. Almost everyone would eat it or know about it. It was nice to have that aspect of my culture on campus. Especially seeing my friends eat it, or when I would bring them home. I would also teach some friends certain sayings in Spanish. Sometimes our cultures would overlap, or they would be curious and I would teach them something about my traditions. That was always fun.

Is there anything else you’ve learned from your experiences and/or from other
first-generation students?
Having a support system and community is so important, and I am so thankful for mine. Without this, I would not have survived college. I have learned that being first-gen can mean many different things, and that we need to come together rather than trying to be better than each other. All we really want is to belong and, to feel wanted, heard, and welcomed. We are stronger and bigger than what people think.

Stay tuned for Part 2, in which we explore Lesley’s perspective on the first-generation financial aid process.